Boris Johnson has denied lying to the Queen over the advice he gave her over the five-week suspension of Parliament.
Similarly, the Queen has denied lying to the PM about the operational status of The Tower of London.
“Whilst the Tower is seen primarily as a tourist attraction these days, it is still capable of functioning as a prison”, stated Colin Retiredsergeant, head Yeoman of The Guard, “Particularly for the very naughtiest of (pro)roguish behaviour.” he chuckled whilst making what is the weakest pun in the past six months.
When asked whether he had lied to the monarch about his reasons for proroguing Parliament, the Prime Minister replied “Absolutely Not.”
And when asked, if the PM was aware that The Tower of London could still function as a fully operational tool of incarceration, especially for constitutional crimes, he was somewhat less confident, entering into a buffoonish tail-spin, whilst spluttering, murmuring and then saying the first thing that came into his head.
The Tower of London has been used as a prison since the beginning of the twelfth century
“Her Majesty has certainly not misled the Prime Minister about the ability of the Tower of London to be used as fully functioning Prison”, stated Colin Forelocktugga, an underling in the Royal Office of Royal Communications for Royalty, “Although the question was never really asked when the Privy Council handed in their request. There was just a lot of winking and forefinger tapping of noses”
Current entry price for the London tourist attraction is £27.50
“I think that could be doubled if we have an actual PM locked up in The White Tower”, responded Colin Tourist-Fleece, head of hedge funds at Historic Royal Palaces, “Throw in Rees-Mogg as well and we could be looking at seventy quid a pop. Those jewels don’t polish themselves you know.