The Queen delivered the Governments Queen’s Speech yesterday in Parliament focussing on Brexit and the NHS
And one surprise bill that the new Conservative Government wishes to create is the creation of a new title allowing the recipient to sit in The House of Lords “The Unelected”.
Nicky Morgan has been reappointed Culture Secretary, despite standing down as an MP
“Obviously this poses a problem for the Prime Minister”, stated re-emerging co-chairman of the Tory Party James Cleverly, “Most of his most hideous friends and allies in the previous cabinet avoided humiliation in General Election by stepping down. The new title of ‘The Unelected’ will enable these election dodgers, to fully engage with progressive conservatism once more”
Nicky Morgan was MP for Loughborough and had a majority of 4,269 at the 2017 General Election
“We at CCHQ advised all cabinet ministers with majorities of less than 28,000 to stand aside, to facilitate some feckless blue rosette to be parachuted in to potentially ‘take a bullet for the team’. In return, we promised a seat in The House of Lords”, Mr. Cleverly, the man who stood for Tory leader this year for six days added, “We appreciate that this may have given some false understanding to the British voting public, but frankly who cares and completely destroys the rumours that we were offering peerages like sweeties. This is a completely new and original method of Flooding The Second Chamber”.
Nicky Morgan has been promised a life peerage to enable her to continue to be involved with cabinet
“Ms Morgan will henceforth be known ‘The Unelected Nichola Morgan of Loughborough’, whilst if we get any more aggro about our Chief Special Advisor he will soon be known as ‘The Unelected Dominic Mckenzie Cummings of Hades'”, the co-chairman added, “In fact, the whole cabinet will probably resign as MPs soon and be given this new, forward-thinking way of allowing the right people to lead this country. Who needs MPs? The track record of MPs shows they are all pretty useless and the Prime Minister has a far better opinion of who should hold power in the cabinet, than a load of ITV watching Northerners. We can do what we want now. We might even abolish elections altogether”
The newly appointed ‘The Unelected Amber Rudd of Hastings’ was unavailable for comment.