“Pubs: don’t buy CO2 from a White Van Man” – of course not – the second he opens the door…

Business, Features

Great news for drinkers, because apparently we live longer than teetotallers.

While it’s unclear whether that’s because of the increased suicide rates among those who don’t have the luxury of using alcohol to numb the tedium at the centre of all existence, or just another half-arsed interpretation of a scientific study that’s going to be debunked this time next week…

…any teetotallers planning on trying to organise a piss-up soon struggle, because so too are breweries – because…

The UK’s supply of beer and fizzy drinks could run out within the week – due to a shortage of CO2.

Carbon Dioxide is normally produced during the winter, as a cheap by-product of process of producing ammonia for fertilisers.

The World Cup has created an entirely predictable increase in demand that the industry seemingly wasn’t expecting – as 3 of the 4 large production plants in the UK are offline for maintenance, and it’ll take until July to bring any of them back online.

The British Beer and Pub Association has issued a warning that “this is not the time to go looking for a white van man who says they can supply you with CO2″.

And rightly so. The second he opens his doors, all the gas will have gone. It’s gas. Dummy!

Adam Hunt

Written By: Adam Hunt

TV Producer (The One Show, Big Brother, Mel and Sue), Comedy Writer (Sitcoms and Sketches in development), Founder member of 'A Better Kind Of Funny', and creator of The News Dump.
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