Priti Patel moves to the front bench in the new cabinet.
On moving to the front bench, she gushed saying, “I’ll be in the front, with DUDE. I don’t want to be seen with May, Rudd and Hammond at the back doing their crosswords and sudokus.”
And she is tipped to be the next Home Secretary.
“I’m going to make myself at home,” said Ms Patel. “It’s back to front, isn’t it?”
In her previous role as Secretary of International Development, Ms Patel travelled widely.
“No holidays in Israel for me this time,” she insisted.
Priti Patel was summoned from a foreign trip to be fired by Mrs May.
This time she’d stay home to be fired, sources close to her said.
We’re leaving on 31st October, said Mr Johnson, the new leader of the Conservative Party.
“Just after the Halloween party at DUD’s house, sorry DUDE’s house, we WILL leave,” confirmed Ms Patel, adding, “May is definitely not invited.”