The Duchess of Sussex has given birth to baby boy
..and what better way to gain favour with the nation’s divided populous, than to jump the “Line of Duty” bandwagon, naming the seventh in line to the throne after the much loved character from BBC’s latest ‘plot twister’.
Line of Duty’s Final Episode of Series 5 Topped 9.1 Million
..but with many watching on catch-up, The Royal Family are keen not spoil the Nation’s enjoyment, by naming the baby too early.
“Hardly anyone watches in ‘real time’ these days”, a palace spokesperson was quoted, “The Sussex’s are therefore delaying the announcement until everyone has caught up with their Bank Holiday weekend viewing. That means we have to get ‘Britain’s got Talent’ and “The World Snooker Final” out of the way.
Judd Trump beat Alex Higgins 18-9, with the final finishing early on Monday Evening
“This is a great relief to The Sussex’s and with everyone dipping into iPlayer, rather than watching endless ‘unscheduled BBC2 broadcasting’ (normally QI, or some bonkers things about ‘Tea Bags’), we can hopefully ‘formally announce’ the name early in the week.”, Kensington Palace announced.
Prince Harry says he and Meghan are absolutely thrilled
“It’s been a real nightmare trying to keep up with the twists and turns in series 5”, gasped an exhausted Prince, “We had John, Steve and Ted all on the shortlist. In the end we thought a safe bet would be ‘Superintendent’ and then the other long list of names could be easily swapped in and out. Damned convenient though, with the number one choice character’s surname being Hastings, what with us getting Sussex for a wedding present and all that”
Series 6 of “Line of Duty” is already being planned
“We reserve every right to change Prince Superintendent Edward Hastings name, should the BBC formally decide to make Adrian Dunbar’s character “H”, but I don’t think the BBC will want to risk the wrath of this ‘H…..RH’ “, laughed Prince Harry.