Prince Philip absent from Christmas Day service. Confirming rumours he can’t enter a church without catching fire.

Politics, Popular Right Now, The Royals

It was all smiles for the duchesses of Sussex and Cambridge as they joined the Royal Family’s Christmas Day church service at Sandringham.

The spectacle has provided some much-needed reassurance to the nation that families from all classes can find themselves being forced to hide their thinly-veiled hatred of each other for a few hours when out and about in public.

There was no sign of the rumoured discord between Kate and Meghan as they and their husbands, Princes William and Harry, strolled to the traditional service at St Mary Magdalene church on the royal estate.

However, there have been unconfirmed reports from some staff at Sandringham that there was the ‘mother of all festive bitch-fights’ between Kate and Meghan in a drawing room within hours of the service, proving that maybe the Royals are just like the rest of us when it comes to the annual festive punch-up fuelled by gin and a year of bitterness.

Prince Charles, the princes’ father, accompanied the quartet on the walk into the church but Charles’ wife, Camilla, did not attend.

The Duchess of Cornwall is believed to be recovering from a heavy cold that forced her to miss an appearance as the star performer at last week’s Olympia Horse Show.

Hundreds of people lined the route, some carrying flowers and wearing Santa hats and warm clothing to keep out the chill on a cold morning in Norfolk.

Because this is entirely normal behaviour for people in the 21st century.

The Queen arrived in a limousine to cheers from the crowds but her husband, Prince Philip, was not with her.

Presumably because the Duke of Edinburgh cannot enter a church without at best coming out in a rash and at worst catching fire, neither of which makes for particularly good publicity for the monarchy.

Pete Redfern

Written By: Pete Redfern

Pete has written for various satire sites and hails from Berkshire, where he lives with his wife and two children. Despite looking like a hooligan, Pete has little interest in either football or violence, and instead spends his spare time trying to make people laugh on the internet, mostly unsuccessfully.
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