Prince Philip has crashed the car he was driving close to the Queen’s Sandringham estate in Norfolk this afternoon.
“Bugger me, that fox was a flighty one!” the elderly royal reportedly told onlookers who rushed to the scene of the crash. “I nearly had the blighter. Bollocks, I haven’t caught one since last October!”
The duke was driving a Range Rover and was pulling out of a driveway onto the A149 when the accident happened, causing his car to overturn.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, Prince Philip does actually have a full driving license.
Well, one that was given to him for a laugh by Elizabeth on their wedding day, just because she can do what she likes and sometimes it is nice to be driven around.
One theory is that Prince Philip had simply lost his way and become disoriented. although you would think that navigation should not have been an issue for the man the Duke of Edinburgh Award is named after.
Eyewitnesses helped him out of the vehicle, reporting that he was conscious but “very, very shocked”.
Although what is most shocking is that despite Prince Philip having lived a lavish life scrounging off the state, he evidently never found time to practice little things, like looking both ways before pulling out of a side road. There are some things you can’t ask a butler to do for you, after all.
The two people in the other vehicle – a saloon car – were treated for minor injuries.
Their troubles were further compacted by Prince Philip’s refusal to give them his insurance details, claiming that as one of their rulers, he owns all the roads in the land, and all the cars, and them, as well come to think of it.
He did, however, offer to get two of his royal servants to give them a piggy back to their home, adding that it is one of his favourite ways to get around Buckingham Palace and is quite fun, especially if you make them sing while they are doing it.
The duke is back at Sandringham and has seen a doctor who confirmed he was not injured.
The incident has been slammed by Brexiters as a prime example of someone coming over from the EU and not knowing how to drive on our roads.