Prince Harry Going Bonkers Is Ruse to Divert Media Attention from Prince Andrew Going Bonking

Popular Right Now, The Royals
Grand Old Duke of York now wishing Jeffrey Epstein hadn't been one of his ten thousand men

Conspiracy theorists have claimed that while the world watches Prince Harry bleating on TV about how tough it is to be a royal, the media’s eye is drawn away from the shenanigans of his uncle, Prince Andrew.

However, this is only one conspiracy theory being expounded by the QAnon, the Flat Earth Club, and other bunches of crackpots. Others include: Boris Johnson is Trump’s lovechild, Lady Gaga is a bloke, and the Duke of Edinburgh is really an alien in the form of a human Pepperami.

Andrew, the 3rdrichest royal with 53 million ‘supermarket trolley coins’ in the bank, has many questions still to answer about his ‘games of buckaroo’ with his late buddy and convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein.

Talking to the press, Prince Harry, wearing a pair of underpants on his head and having a pencil dangling from each nostril, adamantly denied his recent opening up to the media about his mental health issues was anything to do with shifting the media’s attention away from his uncle’s alleged disgusting and criminal carryings on.

“It’s absolutely untrue,” screeched His Royal Gingerness, “Meghan and I are as mad as a box of frogs on speed, honestly. Uncle Andrew has nothing to do with this.”

The self proclaimed fruitcake then commented, “The fact that uncle Andrew’s accusers have recently submitted court papers claiming he joined in an orgy with Jeffrey Epstein and nine girls at the billionaire paedophile’s private island, a news item that has had virtually no media coverage, is just a coincidence.”

Detective Mike Fisten who is investigating the case, claimed that Epstein kept an address book with 13 different contact numbers for Prince Andrew, including ones for Buckingham Palace.

When Prince Ginger-nuts was told this, he bellowed, “So? That doesn’t make him a sexual pervert. It’s just that he doesn’t use social media and liked to stay in touch with his pal is all.”

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