Prince Andrew to step back from doing bugger all in favour of doing fuck all

Popular Right Now, The Royals
Grand Old Duke of York now wishing Jeffrey Epstein hadn't been one of his ten thousand men

Prince Andrew has announced that he will step back from doing bugger all and will instead focus his energy on doing fuck all.

He said he had asked the Queen for permission to withdraw from royal duties for the ‘foreseeable future’.

The monarch granted the request saying, ‘He’s a fucking liability anyway’.

The duke has faced a growing backlash following a BBC interview about his friendship with US financier Jeffrey Epstein.

In a statement he said, ‘I’ve spent years doing bugger all and it has, inevitably, taken its toll. Being in the public eye is great fun when you’re involved in a royal wedding or a champagne charity bash, but when the plebs realise you’re just a parasitic arsehole whose shoes aren’t worthy of their tongue, it can be a tough business’. He went on to say that after a ‘short break’ he plans to join his brother, Edward, doing fuck all.

The prince acknowledged the BBC interview over his relationship with disgraced financier, Epstein, had become a ‘major distraction’ to the royal family.

Prince Andrew had hoped that, following the Duke of Edinburgh’s retirement from public life, he would be able to fill the role of wittering idiot, but when it became clear that he can’t even do that right he was left with no option but to throw in the towel and accept his talents lie in doing fuck all and keeping his mouth shut.

BT, Standard Chartered Bank, KPMG and four Australian universities earlier announced they were withdrawing support for the duke’s business mentoring initiative Pitch@Palace. Sources said the decisions were made before the interview.

In a joint statement they said, ‘In recent days it has come to our attention that the Duke of York has never done a days work in his life and knows fuck all about business, so without an ounce of regret, he’s fired’.

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29 thoughts on “Prince Andrew to step back from doing bugger all in favour of doing fuck all

  1. Only, please, this time please allow him to do fuck all NOT at our expense! If there isn’t one already, a petition needs starting to get the Nonce removed from the Civil List.

    1. He should be in jail as a commoner have no special treatment and in release should be monitored stripped of all titles and receive no money from the country why should be get away with this so easily

  2. Probably closer to the truth than filtered watered down shit the palace has released. Also I predict Randy Andy’s ability to sweat will return in full effect when law enforcement officers start questioning the loathsome parasite. And require him to produce supporting evidence e.g. emails, correspondence, phone records, travel records, staff etc.

  3. Lee Thomas you critic he wanted to write an make articles you’ve probably got peopme criticizing you about your stories as well ” Mr.Reporter “

  4. Disgusting and horrifying that the rich and powerful can just “step away” from such a heinous crime and never suffer any penalty.

  5. Takes after his father but does not have the back room staff good enough to blackmail people in the know and has not managed to effect the way of lying as well as his Father who whored Around for most of his married like and therefor was not good enough to fill his Fathers shoes so so his Father took him aside and told him YOUR FIRED and he could not appeal to his Mother because his Big Poofy Brother who would rather be Married to a Dog Named ROTTWEILER rather than to a PRINCESS called DIANA had already ran to the Queen when he lost the tv debate and pleaded MUMMY PLEASE GET ME A DIVORCE BECUSE SHE WONT LET ME KEEP ON SEEING ROTTWEILER so the Queen having had her fingers burned once by the tv audience sided with her Husband and Charles went to MUMMY and said PLEASE MUMMY STOP ANDREWS STIPEND OF £250,000 A YEAR BECAUSE THAT IS MY INHERITANCE YOU A GIVING AWAY WHEN I TAKE OVER FROM YOU leaving Andrew wringing his hands and whinging OH FUCK WHAT AM I GOING TO Do IM IN THE SHIT IM FUCKED AND I WILL HAVE TO FACE THE MUSIC OH FUCK OH SHIT

    1. Your comments are disgusting, your grammar is disgusting… I guess you were noting but a lazy goodfornothing at school. Incidentally…. I think the same about Andrew as most here do… this is just me telling you to go back to school.

  6. And don’t forget all those meddle’s he has been awarded… cleaning spoons at night in the dark .. shouting loudly in a strong wind…flying a big kite …tying his shoelaces in the dark …and now finally his greatest achievement The Kiddie Fidler award

  7. Oh my word. Knock a bad man down for sure but please remember he has an exemplary mother and children. Not to mention an ex whos actually stood by him as well as other family who have done no wrong.

  8. What a crew! Even the queen fiddles her tax. They are all tarred with the same brush – an example of how people become when they are put on pedestals. Their history is one of sleaze murder and corruption and racism. They should have been abandoned to the history books centuries ago!

  9. I always enjoy the comments, particularly the grammar blunders. Please, keep writing, no matter what your level of education; less education, more truths. I agree with most of the statements, and I know a lot more allegations, some from Canada.

  10. An example of those in privilege exploiting that status without standards of those expected of the masses

    Runt of the dubious pack.

    Jail him , with Blair and the rest of these kind.

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