Prince Andrew defers promotion to Admiral after admitting he’s done fuck all to deserve it

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The Duke of York has deferred a Navy-offered promotion to Admiral

He admitted he’s done absolutely fuck all to warrant such an honour.

The Prince was expected to be promoted to Admiral on his 60th birthday, in line with an archaic policy that sees senior royals treated as serving military members.

The Duke is having enough trouble keeping his titles of Prince and Duke due to countless shenanigans that are not worth listing due to word limits in our software.

Buckingham Palace said The Duke had asked the MoD to postpone the honour until a time when he returns to public duty.

When this happens, there will be a huge party, for which Woking’s Pizza Express has already been booked.

There will be strictly no under-18s allowed, meaning the Prince has already said he refuses to turn up.

The Duke of York retired from the Navy in 2001 but it is a tradition that Royals receive promotions as they get older.

Kind of like you becoming CEO of Sainsbury’s because you stacked shelves one summer 19 years ago.

The Duke doesn’t really want any titles for his birthday, saying all he wants is ‘a crazy party, with lots of nubile, young things and a decent pizza’.

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2 thoughts on “Prince Andrew defers promotion to Admiral after admitting he’s done fuck all to deserve it

  1. Oh for God’s sake, stop stirring s***!

    He doesn’t want a ‘crazy party’ when he’s back he just wants a “straightforward shooting weekend”!

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