Prince Andrew ‘Categorically’ Denies Ever Buying a Drink and ‘Can’t Remember’ Anywhere He’s Ever Put His Cock

Popular Right Now, The Royals
Grand Old Duke of York now wishing Jeffrey Epstein hadn't been one of his ten thousand men

In an extraordinary interview on BBC2 last night the Duke of York ‘categorically denied’ having any sexual contact with an American woman, Virginia Roberts, who says she was forced to have sex with him when she was aged 17.

Speaking to a surprisingly obsequious Emily Maitlis, the ‘sweaty’ Grand Old Duke of York did his best to clear up the embarrassing misunderstandings about events that have dogged him since he became ‘besties’ with the convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. Specifically, Prince Andrew was quizzed by Maitlis about where he’d been putting his royal willie, and had it ever been in the vicinity of the no-go zones of under-aged girls at various locations in the US and UK.

Using the well-worn ‘I don’t recall’ cop-out, Prince Andrew categorically denied ever having bonked Virginia Roberts, this despite the well-publicised photo of the two of them together, the Prince with his sweaty arm around her waist.

To be fair to the randy royal he managed to keep a straight face as he batted away Maitlis’ barrage of questions about his royal ‘dicking about.’ But credibility was stretched beyond belief when the Prince confessed to once having been in a Pizza Express.

However, the Prince’s royal heckles were immediately up when Maitlis challenged him as to whether or not he took Roberts to Tramps nightclub, danced with her, bought her drinks, then took her back to a friend’s Belgravia flat where he gave her a ‘right-royal-rogering.’

The sweaty-faced international trade dodgy deal facilitator (his commission is allegedly 1%) nearly flew out of his chair with an absolute categorical denial at this, barking at Maitlis, “I’ve never bought a drink in my life!”

Pundits are convinced that the 3rdrichest royal, worth £56 million but still stayed with his paedo-pal (to save on hotel expenses?) knows something very nasty is heading his way, and this whole interview nonsense was all about getting his retaliation in first.

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