Prince Andrew was pictured today arriving for a Christmas Lunch with the Queen amid the scandal over his friendship with billionaire sex offender Jeffrey Epstein. The Prince was photographed arriving at Buckingham Palace where royals were meeting as part of the annual tradition.
However, unlike in previous years, Prince Andrew was not dressed in a lounge suit, but instead he was in disguise as an itinerant Santa Clause riding a bike through the palace gates. His entry into the palace grounds was not an easy one as the Queen’s Guard had been given instructions to take pot shots at anyone approaching the palace gates with a build similar to Prince Andrew’s. Luckily for him they are abysmal shots.
Reports emerging from the palace indicate that Prince Andrew was not permitted to eat with the rest of the family. Instead, he was given a bowl of ‘Chappie’ and made to sit and eat on his own in a disused Corgi kennel.
Also, it has emerged that a photograph taken by the cub reporter for the UK comic ‘The Beano’ clearly shows a woman with the same build as Queen Elizabeth, skirt hitched in her knickers, clambering over the wall out of the palace grounds at approximately the same time as ‘Prince Santa’ arrived.
The elderly lady, who was dressed as an itinerant ‘lucky gipsy lavender’ sales entrepreneur, was immediately bundled into a royal coach and horses and whisked away from the palace in the direction of Windsor.
The palace confirmed that Prince Andrew had indeed attended the Christmas lunch and that the royal family had been entertained throughout the royal carousal by a barbershop quartet made up of FBI agents with an arrangement of ‘White Christmas’ that included the words, “We’ll be seeing you in New York in January, Andrew, you royal pervy shitbag (allegedly).”