Police under pressure over harassment of MPs, after Anna Soubry heinously referred to as a ‘Tory’.

Politics
Soubry is a Tory

House of Commons Speaker John Bercow has described the abuse and harassment of MPs outside Parliament “a type of fascism” and called for a wholesale change in policing policy.

The Metropolitan Police now find themselves under pressure after MP harassment that saw Anna Soubry heinously described as a ‘Tory’.

Bercow said recent incidents, including Ms Soubry being verbally abused, were “intolerable”.

“This is an utter disgrace,” he declared.  “Can you imagine being slandered in such a way?  Surely there is no worse thing that someone suggesting you’re a member of the Conservative party?”

Ms Soubry was shouted at during live TV interviews on BBC News and Sky.

With her entirely fascistic views on having a second ‘People’s Vote’ to confirm the Brexit being delivered is the one people actually had in mind when they voted, Ms Soubry was horrified to find some people were still referring to her in such a way.

The Broxtowe MP, who has often been accused of not meeting enough of the bellendery criteria to actually be a ‘proper Tory’ took objection, saying “I don’t know why anyone has this ridiculous view of me.

“What the hell do you mean, Wikipedia says I’m in the Conservative Party?  Look here, in my purse, there is clearly a… JESUS CHRIST, THERE’S A TORY MEMBERSHIP CARD IN HERE!!!

“Bollocks.  I must have ticked the wrong box when I stood as an MP.”

A cross-party group of 60 MPs sent a letter to the Police Commissioner suggesting there was a “lack of co-ordination in the response from the police and appropriate authorities”.

The Police Commissioner Cressida Dick denied any lack of co-ordination by saying, “What letter?  I haven’t seen a letter. John! What’s this about a letter? John! JOHN! Oh, sorry, I mean Dave!”

The Metropolitan Police have said they are ready to “deal robustly” with any instances of criminal harassment.

This is expected to involve giving the irony-free racists a slap on the wrist and allowing them to continue with their witty banter and hilarious angry screaming in people’s faces.

Bercow added: “It’s one thing demonstrating from a distance with placards, or calling out slogans – and another, where the protester invades the personal space of a member, subjects him or her to a tirade of menacing, racist, sexist and misogynistic abuse, and follows them back to their place of work.

“Where they then have to suffer the same from their CEO.”

Dan Sweryt

Written By: Dan Sweryt

Dan Sweryt is an award-winning script editor and comedy writer whose TV, radio, podcast and internet writing still doesn’t pay enough for him not to have a proper job too. But, you know, it does help him buy lottery tickets.
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