Polar Bear Spotted With “Get Brexit Done” sprayed on its side

Science and Tech, UK Politics
Polar Bear Spotted With Get Brexit Done sprayed on its side

Footage shared on social media in Russia of a polar bear with “T-34” spray-painted in black on its side has alarmed experts.

This is the second such curious sighting this week, after earlier eye witness accounts of a Polar Bear with the increasingly tired phrase “Get Brexit Done” sprayed on its flank

The footage was posted on Facebook by Sergey Kavry, a member of the World Wildlife Fund (WWF) nature organisation, and then shared by local media.

“We first suspect foul play, when two men, one bearing an uncanny resemblance to the Alien from ‘Mars Attacks’ and another largish Buffon constantly fondling the air hostesses, were spotted getting off a London-Lavrentiya Citi Hoppa, three days previously, carrying only a Kobra Graffiti Starter pack and the Ladybird book of Artic Animals between them”, stated Professor Colinska Kolinsky, of Barton Staceygrad, Head of Urban Ursine Art Studies at the University of Novichok, “Their shifty demeanour, aura of hatred and ineptitude quickly enabled them to drift into the crowd however”.

The press officer for WWF Russia, Daria Buyanova, told the BBC that seeing the images was “quite a shock” and that the inscription “looks like a bad joke”.

Other similar incidents have been witnessed including, a Walrus with ‘20,000 more policeman’ scrawled on it, 40,000 Lemmings with ‘The NHS IS Not For Sale (but it might be)’ stenciled on their foreheads and Narwhal with ‘Tories Fighting Terrorism’ carved onto its Tusk.

A scientist at the Institute of Biological Problems of the North, Anatoly Kochnev, said it was unlikely that the bear could have been painted without it being sedated.

“It’s all a rather sad repeat of events three and half years ago”, commented Mr Kochev, “Who can forget that sad sorry tale of the Beluga Whale with ‘We Send the EU £350 Million a week’ slashed into its blubber? And then in 2017 the equally distressing sighting of a flock of Sea Turns with ‘Strong And Stable Government’ written on them in Blue Sharpie?”

Sir David Frederick Attenborough OM CH CVO CBE FRS FRSA FLS FZS FSA FRSGS is an English broadcaster and natural historian.

And when asked for comment issued this Press release

“The abuse of these animals for Tory propaganda is horrific. But I have my John Bull Tattoo Kit ready for the next time I see the Prime Minister to etch ‘200-2000 extinctions occur each year’ across his lower lip”, whilst Greta Thunberg holds him down. It’ll make a grand finale to ‘Seven Continents One Planet’, I’ll take the BAFTA now”

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