PM to test legal status of crossing fingers in The Supreme Court

Home Affairs, UK Politics
PM to test legal status of crossing fingers in The Supreme Court

On Tuesday The Supreme Court commenced hearings into two appeals relating to the decision by Boris Johnson to prorogue Parliament.

Key to the appeal is the Prime Minister’s belief that he can say whatever he wants, whenever he wants and get away with it because he has his fingers crossed whilst spouting his gibberish.

A Scottish court ruled the five-week suspension of Parliament was “unlawful.”

“Ah, but you see. If one has their fingers crossed. It doesn’t count”, waffled the bumbling buffoon that somehow 92,000 people elected as Prime Minister, “and doubly so if you cross your toes”

The Prorogation was requested and accepted on August 28th

“The Privy Council was under full instruction to deliver the request on my behalf, providing they all had their pinkies crossed”, the ever-lovable PM informed The Newsdump, “We didn’t think a bundle of crisp fivers would do the trick in this case”

The Prime Minister has been reported as telling  his cabinet he is a liberal Tory running a one nation government

“Ha Ha Ha”, the PM bellowed, “Left hand!”, as he boisterously waved his arm in front of us

Last week, according to its chair, Sarah Wollaston, Boris Johnson broke promise to appear before Commons liaison

“Right hand!”, he then manically helicoptered his crossed digits

On becoming Prime Minister, Boris Johnson denied he would be calling a snap General Election, before requesting one twice in the Commons

“Look! All this is just poppycock. And anyway I had my toes crossed on that occasion”

Boris Johnson also claimed “Voting Tory will cause your wife to have bigger breasts and increase your chances of owning a BMW M3.”

Boris went silent for a moment’s reflection, before saying “Ah, now that is true!!”

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