Prime Minister Boris Johnson has tested positive for coronavirus.
And the Nation’s mood quickly changed from shock to fear as they realised that the person designated to take over from Mr Johnson is non-other than Dominic Raab.
Mr Johnson said he developed mild symptoms over the past 24 hours, including a temperature and cough.
With all the greeting card stores closed and the only cards left in the supermarkets being “Congratulations On Passing Your Driving Test”, thanks to panic buying, online e-card sites reported an immediate spike in demand as the news was announced.
“Orders went through the roof at 11:16, just one minute after the PM posted his news on Twitter”, stated Colin Collinson (54) owner of Barton Stacey’s leading Yorkshire themed electronic greeting card business ‘E Buy Fun’, “but it was 45 seconds later, when the Nation then realised that Dominic Raab could take over as PM, did the orders really go ballistic”
Dominic Raab was appointed Minister for the Cabinet Office in 2019, which makes him effectively the PM’s ‘deputy’
We understand that rapid cabinet contingency measures have already sprung into place, so that Mr Raab can be brought fully up to speed on what a virus is and how important vaccines are.
“Ever since the PM developed a mild cough and slight temperature, emergency educational procedures have been triggered for Mr Raab”, our tame government spokesman Quentin St-John.-St.-Johnson told The NewsDump, “The Foreign Secretary is currently on page 7 of ‘The Ladybird Book of Medicine’ and the importance of the NHS is being stressed by screening him reruns of the Tufty public information film where Willy the Weasel gets run over”
The PM said he will now self-isolate in No 10 but will “continue to lead the government’s response via video-conference as we fight this virus”.
And the Nation breathed a sigh of relief.
Get well soon Prime Minister.