PM “positive” about Strasbourg trip. Now finally has enough air miles for that girls weekend in Magaluf. 

Popular Right Now, UK Politics
PM positive about Strasbourg trip. Now finally has enough air miles for that girls weekend in Magaluf

Theresa May is heading to Strasbourg for last-ditch talks with senior EU officials, following her last last-ditch talks last week in Brussels.

The PM was said to be excited about the trip as she has almost got enough frequent flyer miles for a girls trip to Magaluf.

She will meet European Commission President Jean-Claude Juncker on the eve of the second vote on her deal and lay down her final proposal.

“Pop quiz, hotshot.” The PM said to Juncker. “I’ve hidden Nigel Farage and Boris Johnson on their big red bus somewhere in Brussels. The one that says £350 million for the NHS on the side. Once the bus goes 50 miles an hour, the bomb is armed. If it drops below 50, it blows up.”

The Eu representatives have said they will not cave to empty threats and are willing to negotiate in good faith.

But the bus would never be a problem, as EU regulations prevent it from reaching 50 miles an hour in central Brussels.

Former Conservative leader Iain Duncan Smith, a leading Brexiteer, said he believed the two sides were “reaching the point where they are about to have some kind of agreement”.

The EU representatives and Theresa May both agreed that Britain was screwed.

The EU has said it is now up to MPs to decide the next steps for Brexit and it remains “committed” to agreeing a deal.

As soon as Theresa May stops rocking, huddled in the corner of the meeting room muttering “Brexit means Brexit.”

Theresa May was adamant coming out of the meeting that she had one final card to play.

“If the deal does not get through parliament…” she told journalists. “I’m using my air miles to hop the first plane to Benidorm on the 28th of March, going on the lash and applying for Spanish citizenship. Hasta luego, losers.”

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