The Home Office is sending ‘Please come back’ van’s to Eastern Europe to encourage workers to pick UK crops.
UK farmers recently warned that crops could be left to rot in fields due to a lack of seasonal workers from Eastern Europe.
The vans will be sent to Romania, Bulgaria and Lithuania and will make it clear that Theresa May is no longer Home Secretary and that they are now welcome to return to the UK to work. Although it’s been decided that potential workers shouldn’t be told that Priti Patel now occupies that role.
The message on the side of the vans states the UK’s approach to immigration in recent years has been ‘woefully Neanderthal’ and that the number of people out clapping for our incredibly NHS staff on a weekly basis indicates that we’re ‘not as racist as Nigel Farage would like to think we are.’ Either that or we’ve learnt our lesson.
The message goes on to say ‘When we told you all to fuck off, we had expected hordes of true Brits to put their names forward for manual labour jobs. But having subsequently discovered that many of those who complained that their jobs had been stolen are in fact just lazy bastards, we now cordially invite you to come to the UK and pick our fruit.’
The first flight containing 150 Romanian farm workers will arrive in the UK on Thursday.
Government officials offered Romania permanent custody of Farage, Tommy Robinson and Katie Hopkins in exchange for ‘a flight full of people who will actually contribute something to the UK’. But Romanian officials declined the offer and suggested the twattish trio remain in the UK and be put to work fertilising the crops with the vast amount of verbal manure they’re able to produce.
Defra said it is encouraging UK residents to assist with crop picking and to date 500 have put their names forward.
Leaving just short of 17.4 million who were so loudly adamant we could carry on as normal without migrant workers because we won a war nearly 75 years ago but are now strangely silent.