Piers Morgan has claimed that he is ‘popular in gay clubs’.
This of course would make sense, as he’s a massive dick.
On Monday, the presented read out a tweet he’d been sent from a Good Morning Britain viewer telling him to ‘come out of the closet’.
This would imply that Piers is able to be attracted to another human being, whereas he actually identifies as a ‘Narcissexual’, meaning he is only sexually aroused by the smug sensation he gets from his own existence.
Earlier today, Piers announced he would be leaving Good Morning Britain after his 2 year contract expires in 2021.
It is hoped that this will not be the only type of Britain he leaves.
This is not the only deal Piers is involved in; he currently has a contract binding the lower half of his face to the colon of President Trump.
He moaned that his co-host Susanna Reid didn’t appear thrilled over his contract news.
The same way a hostage tied to a radiator wouldn’t be thrilled if their captives told them the ‘shitting hole’ wouldn’t be emptied for another couple of years.
Piers has not announced what he plans to do after retiring from Good Morning Britain.
He was previously the editor for the Daily Mirror, but was fired in 2004, as he just couldn’t hack it.