Wetherspoons is introducing a new vegan burger to its chains across Britain.
877 Wetherspoons pubs across Britain will be giving customers the option to have a vegan alternative to the regular hamburger.
This is the latest UK brand this year to announce to a Vegan option, and the news has finally caused Piers Morgan to evolve into a more powerfully triggered form.
Upon hearing the news, Morgan transformed into the next stage of his ‘white man screaming at clouds’ life cycle, as the vegan burger had provided him with all the faux-outrage nutrition that he required.
He has developed an additional set of grotesque faces in order to vocally complain about simultaneous items, and with far greater misdirected rage than before.
He now also circulates 5x the amount of blood then the average human body, enabling him to get even more red faced, and allowing him to do so within mere seconds of being shown a story about a male celebrity showing parental affection.
It appears that after years of various outrages, vegan dietary options was the host that Morgan required to advanced to his next stage, and he has finally grown into something far more deadly.
Like the creature from Alien, if it got upset about Ripley’s gender pronouns.
After completing his evolution, Morgan’s numerous faces spent a full hour screaming; one about Meghan Markle, one about Glastonbury, another about Donald Trump, and the other flesh masses just repeating his name.
Wetherspoons has released a statement saying:
“We didn’t know. Oh God. We didn’t know. Please forgive us. Please God. There is nothing we can do to rectify this. Also try our new ‘Thunderous Thursday’ with 50p Jägerbombs.”