Contractors brought in to remove Jeremy Corbyn from his fence have said the process is likely to take up to three months.
After last week’s election defeat the Labour leader said he intends to step down.
But a fence post which has become deeply embedded in his left arse cheek is preventing him from stepping anywhere any time soon.
Foreman Bob Bobson said the operation must be carried out with great care to prevent tearing Mr Corbyn yet another new arsehole to go with the one the electorate tore him last Thursday.
Bobson said the situation is ‘really quite precarious’ as Mr Corbyn is leaning ‘massively to the left’ and ‘unless he becomes a bit more balanced the whole thing could turn out really bad for him.’
The next Labour leader is expected to be in place by the end of March.
Mr Corbyn’s fence will then be relocated to ‘somewhere in the Irish Sea’ where it will continue its ambiguous existence when it’s installed as the ‘kind of bordery thing’ proposed in Boris Johnson’s Brexit Bill.