ONS says piss poor economic growth “a fitting end to a shit year”

UK Politics
Piss poor economic growth a 'fitting end to a shit year'

The UK economy grew by just 0.1% in the three months to November.

With the Office for National Statistics saying, ‘piss poor economic growth’ was a ‘fitting end to a shit year.’

Economic growth is at its lowest since 2012.

And there are fears that the cost of Brexit will see the UK slump to such depths that it’ll be available as part of a Tesco pick n mix.

The ONS said that’s not the only negative stat to come out of 2019.

Spokesman Bob Bobson said it had been a ‘frustrating’ year for staff at the ONS who spent the spring finalising stats for the Shittest Prime Minister Ever, only to find they had to start the process all over again in July.

Other unexpected stats include an increase in the number of unemployed royals, a 450% rise in use of the word ‘snowflake’ on angry social media posts and the lowest popularity rating on record for every party leader going into an election.

The figures come amid growing speculation that interest rates may be cut soon.

Just because people need something to look forward to.

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