Only 76 days to Christmas and an extra 31 days before Brexit, if Theresa manages to pass her “May-an Calendar” bill.

Business, Politics, UK Politics
May-An Calendar

Mrs May will face a test on January 15th when MPs will vote on the Brexit deal as time is desperately running out for the troubled government.

However, the next phase in Theresa May’s Brexit Procrastination plan has now been revealed. She is preparing a bill to implement her own May-an Calendar for 2019 – which rather conveniently brings forward December by nine months so that it sits between February and March.

It’s not “just” about delaying Brexit without delaying Brexit, insists May. Government analysts doubt Britain will be in a good enough state to hold Christmas at all after nine months of Brexit, so they’ve decided to bring it forward.

And they’re not scaremongering. Britain’s high streets really will be in crisis – with 10,000 shops predicted to close in 2019 alone.

Most high street stores have warmly welcomed the idea of an early Christmas which complements their own plans, started long before anyone can remember, to gradually start Christmas earlier and earlier each year.

The BBC are not so keen. And not just because the Director General has only just packed up and put all the tapes of their Christmas Specials back in the loft. There are real doubts as to whether there’s time to figure out how to put their Christmas Specials on in an order that hasn’t been done before.

But the main sticking point at the moment is as to whether New Year celebrations should take place on the 30th November 2019, the day before 1st January 2020 but arguably too close to Children In Need, or on the 31st December 2019, the day before the 1st March 2019. The latter is thought to be favoured because it would so nice, just for once, to be able to celebrate the New Year before those islands in the Pacific do.

So the answer to the most frequently asked question about Brexit “What are we waiting for?”… is Christmas!

Simon Paul Miller

Written By: Simon Paul Miller

Writer for The News Dump, The Rhyming Detective podcast, Big Finish (Doctor Who Short Trips audio story 'Seven To One') and BBC Radio's Newsjack, Newsjack Unplugged & Breaking The News.
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