Following two mass shootings in America over the weekend, the membership of the National Rifle Association has fallen slightly, albeit for totally unrelated reasons.
Democratic candidates for the 2020 election have called for tighter gun controls in the wake of the shootings, which have left twenty nine people dead and several seriously injured.
Wielding his second favourite semi-automatic assault rifle, NRA spokesperson Jim-Bob Minidick addressed reporters this morning saying: “Increasing gun controls would be an overreaction to this situation. It wasn’t the guns that are to be blamed – it was the sick individuals who pulled the trigger that are responsible for this, and whichever hate preacher led them down this path.
“What’s that? The El Paso shooter was a Trump supporter? Ignore that last bit I said then. He must have just targeted Mexicans by chance.”
Becoming suddenly more somber and lowering his rifle to signify his mourning he added: “In other news, we are sad to report that our membership has fallen slightly today, after old Chuck Tinytodger from Kentucky passed away peacefully in his sleep, aged ninety three.
“He’ll be missed at all the Klan meetings, but he’s lucky really – most of us NRA members die in our sixties following the accidental discharge of a weapons at the gun range, so he did well.”