“Nothing to fear from no-deal Brexit”, says man who’s banked £500,000 in political donations

UK Politics
Nothing to fear from no-deal Brexit, says man who's banked £500,000 in political donations

A man who’s received £500,000 in political donations since May says no-one should be afraid their lives could be ruined by a no-deal Brexit.

Wannabe Prime Minister Boris Johnson says he’s fed up of people constantly highlighting the damaging effects leaving the EU could have on the British economy.

“I hear so much talk about how Brexit is going to cause poverty. That’s rubbish, it’s been absolutely brilliant for my career,” said Mr Johnson.

“Obviously at the beginning of the process there may be the odd economic blip or two, but we can weather that storm quite easily.

“For example if driving a Bentley proves a touch too expensive, one could down-size to maybe a Jaguar for a short period of time. Instead of eating out at The Ritz every evening, diners could cut back to five or six times a week.

“These simple money saving tips will see us through any temporary down turns as we move forward on our journey of adventure to the sunny uplands of taking control while having our cake and eating it.”

Mr Johnson said he had been the very living embodiment of frugality when it came to ordering a new bed from the public purse, ready for moving into 10 Downing Street.

“I deliberately chose the very cheapest super-king-sized, gold embossed, triple sprung, four poster with oak and mahogany inlay that was available on the market,” he said with pride

Mr Johnson was also keen to stress he has no grudge against Chancellor Of The Exchequer Philip Hammond.

Mr Hammond has revealed he intends to quit the cabinet if, as expected, Mr Johnson becomes Prime Minister.

But Mr Johnson has responded by holding out an olive branch of reconciliation.

“I’m absolutely sure that I can find interesting work for Philip that will keep him busy in Downing Street,” Mr Johnson said. “He can team up with Michael Gove shovelling coal into the boiler deep in the cellar of Number 10.”

5 Foolproof Ways - Advert v2 (1920 x 1280)

White Label Comedy

The News Dump is brought to you by White Label Comedy – a hive-mind of Comedy Writers and Advertising Creatives who collaborate on-demand to generate Comedy Content for Brands, TV Shows and more.

If we’ve made you laugh, and you know someone who might enjoy working with us, we’d love it if you could send them to www.whitelabelcomedy.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.