Nigel Farage appointed ‘Name-Calling Tzar’

The Royals, UK Politics
Farage outside downing street

Disgraced radio presenter Nigel Farage has been appointed the new ‘Name Calling Tzar’ following his outburst at the Conservative Political Action Conference in Sydney, Australia.

A spokesperson said “In this day and age it’s important that some kind of reform is introduced to control name calling. Whether you want to call a politician a ‘Fame hungry, ineffectual fuckstick’ or a maybe you’d like to call a specific celebrity an ‘irritating shit-stack of piss’ or you may want to just call Shakespeare a cunt. Either way, this fresh new direction will help.”

At the recent conference in Australia Farage criticized the Duke and Duchess of Sussex and then went on to  verbally abuse Prince Charles, Harry and Meghan. The overweight chain-smoking beer drinker when went on to describe the late Queen Mother as an “Overweight, chain-smoking gin drinker”

Farage told us “Before I started calling everyone names I was a boring, loud-mouthed nobody. Now I’m a boring, loud-mouthed nobody but at least people know my name.”

He went on to offend the green party and threw insults at Malcolm Turner and David Cameron. In the past he has resorted to name calling and offence language to EU officials, the BBC, Romanians, Jews and people carrying milkshakes.

So he really is the perfect person for this position.

Farage also called for laws on fire-arms to be relaxed, denied there was any sexual discrimination in the city, refused to support gay marriage and used Nazi style propaganda in his anti-immigration stance.

Nigel was introduced to a crowd of around 500 as “quite possibly” the next British prime Minister

which is “quite possibly” the funniest thing that’s ever been said about the man who is not a member of the UK parliament and has failed seven times to be elected as an MP. Twat.

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