“Next time just seduce her, impregnate her, and then file a restraining order” Boris Johnson tells Mark Field

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“Next time just seduce her, impregnate her, and then file a restraining order” Boris Johnson tells Mark Field

Foreign Office minister Mark Field has been accused by Greenpeace of assault, after he pushed a female activist out of a black-tie City event.

Making it the first time in Greenpeace’s history in which they’ve found themselves angry at a Field.

Mr Field claimed he reacted “instinctively” when he grabbed the female protestor by the throat before throwing her out of the room, and has referred himself to the Cabinet Office for an investigation.

Inevitable future Prime Minister Boris Johnson has been quick to criticise his fellow Tory MP for the way he treated the female protestor.

“That’s no way to treat a lady, even if she is a filthy hippy” Boris told press this morning.

He continued: “ Look, if you want a woman to leave you alone, the process is a simple one. Firstly, seduce her. Secondly, make sure you impregnate her. Thirdly, force her to either have an abortion or sign a non-disclosure agreement about the lovechild, then file a restraining order against her.

“You won’t see or hear from her again, trust me.”

Dozens of activists – dressed in suits, red dresses and sashes – “gatecrashed” the dinner, according to Greenpeace, and refused to leave.

Prompting those attending the dinner and who are accustomed to hearing Philip Hammond droning on about the woeful state of economy to describe it as ‘actually quite a fun evening’.

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