Nationwide Search Underway For Toys Ben Shapiro Threw Out Of Pram

UK Politics
Search Continues For Toys Ben Shapiro Threw Out The Pram

Conservative tweeter and guy-who -talks-on-college-campuses-about-how-colleges-won’t let-him-speak, Ben Shapiro was recently interviewed by BBC host Andrew Neil.

For which his mummy gave him a sticker and called him a big brave boy. He was getting too old for the Dave Rubin show, and the other children were starting to notice.

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Ben (who often complains that pc culture and taking offence has gone too far) got offended and upset just two minutes into the interview. Andrew Neil remarked that the Georgian abortion bill which could imprison women for decades for both abortions and miscarriages  would “take us back to the dark ages.” Which caused Ben to lash out and cry bias. 

It seemed that little Ben had made to jump to big boy interviews too early. Andrew was being a big meanie. He just wanted to talk about ideas, not what would actually happen if those ideas were put into practice. Ben was only able to stop himself from crying by reading the note mummy had put in his lunch box that morning.

My Sweet Little Benny

If Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doesn’t want to be your girlfriend she’s the dumbest girl in the world.

xxx

Neil then went on to quote Ben’s own words to him, which he really didn’t like. He was asked about the time he called a speech by Obama fascist. And was also asked about the tweets where he said that “Arabs like to bomb crap and live in open sewage.” Ben claimed he clarified that he was only referring to Hamas. However Neil was able to disprove this by reading the rest of the tweets. 

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Little Ben burst into tears. Through heaving sobs he screamed at the producers to bring him his red pill comfort blanket. Poor Ben only felt safe when wrapped up in red-pilly. The real world was full of people who thought he was a dumbass.

After less than ten minutes Ben reached his limit. He tried to announce that he was leaving a couple of times as Neil was still asking the next question before eventually being heard (which undercut the drama of it somewhat). He ended the interview by calling Neil “badly motivated.”

“YOU CAN’T BE MY BEST FRIEND, IM GOING HOME RIGHT NOW” Ben screamed stamping his foot. But the adults in the room just kept trying to get him to answer all these big scary questions. That only angered poor little Ben more. In one of many of his desperate bids for attention he began throwing all the toys in his pram as far away as he could. His chromosome plushies, his Dave Rubin puppet, his voodoo doll of poor people. He even threw red-pilly but cried all the way home when he couldn’t find it again.

There is now a national search to find Ben Shapiro’s comfort blanket. If you find red-pilly please let little Ben know. Or tell his mummy if you don’t want to listen to the insufferable child’s whining about how the leftists don’t like him.

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