In a desperate bid to end the current impasse at Westminster MPs are to be given the chance to formally back Uri Geller’s plan of stopping Brexit using telepathy.
In an open letter to Theresa May the illusionist told the Prime Minister that he felt ‘psychically and very strongly’ that most Britons were anti-Brexit and promised to stop the process telepathically.
‘I can confirm that a motion has been tabled that psychic means should be used to try and prevent Britain leaving the EU’ said Speaker of the House of Commons John Bercow.
‘It’s quite clear to anyone with half a brain that attempting to stop Brexit using the transmission of information by extrasensory means is complete bollocks, but in the absence of any more sensible suggestions I propose we give it a try’.
Prominent Brexiteers have claimed that bringing a motion before the House to reverse the result of the referendum using telepathy is a low point in the Brexit process.
‘These antics have no place in a modern democracy’ said Jacob Rees Mogg.
‘Uri Geller is nothing but a fraud and a charlatan with a limited grasp of reality and no credible evidence to back up any of his outlandish claims. These may be excellent qualifications for one to become a member of the ERG but they are no basis for deciding the future of the country’.
In his defence Geller has cited examples of the effectiveness of his psychic powers including his claim that he made Scotland miss a crucial penalty against England in the 1996 Euros at Wembley. However, his critics have pointed to a growing body of evidence that suggests the penalty miss may have been caused by Scotland just being incredibly shit at football.