This afternoon MPs have been meeting to discuss the latest developments in Brexit.
And ahead of tonight’s meaningless vote Britain let out a collective yawn. Proving there is one thing we can agree on. Brexit is boring.
De facto Deputy PM David Liddington is standing in for Theresa May after she lost her voice.
Mrs May tried to get an appointment with her local GP but they can’t see her until November.
In a statement this morning she said nothing. Political pundits have described it as her most successful statement since taking office.
After rejecting a no deal Brexit last night MP’s will vote this evening on whether to apply for an extension to Article 50.
If approved all the government need do is grovel to the EU and ask them to agree to it.
Despite the irrelevance of the vote MP’s are expected to be red-faced and jeering throughout their exchanges.
David Liddington was interrupted numerous times throughout his speech to opening the debate with MP’s keen to express their views on the chosen amendments.
Once he got a word in Mr Liddington broke the news that he intended to extend the debate to include even more meaningless votes. ‘It is a tragedy,’ he said, ‘that after so many years of debate we still don’t know who killed Dirty Den.’
Vince Cable suggested a people’s vote on the issue but Liddington was adamant that a decision of this magnitude cannot be left to the public. Dave from Bridgend tweeted that he was ‘disgusted’ by the decision and asked, ‘How can we let Rees-Mogg have a say when he’s probably never even seen Eastenders’. Mr Rees-Mogg responded by saying that he tried watching it but doesn’t like having to use subtitles.
The Article 50 vote will also be followed by further votes on how much wood a woodchuck would chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood, and what is found at the end of a rainbow.