Whether the the government and the opposition reach a deal or not, MPs will be asked to vote on Brexit again in early June.
“We have to get it done before summer recess,” said a Downing Street spokesman, “Because the lads are going to be raging all summer in Ibiza. We booked discount flights, they aren’t refundable, so we really have to get this Brexit stuff finalized as soon as possible.” He also went on to detail the hotel that had been booked, “on the strip”, along with a variety of booze cruises and bar crawls they were expecting to attend. “Nigel Adams – he’s a ledge, is Nigel – has already had the shirts printed. They say, ‘MPs on Tour 2019, We Bolloxed-Up Brexit’ – so you know, we’ve got to get it sorted out.”
The PMs Brexit deal was rejected three times so far by MPs.
“But that was when we still had time to mess about – now it’s more important,” said the spokesman. “I mean, we’ve been planning this lads holiday for months!” Asked why the female MPs were not invited, he said, “They were! But they’re already going to Ayia Napa.”
The PM is keen to push ahead with her ambition of delivering Brexit before the summer. She and Mr. Corbyn met on Tuesday evening, with Downing Street calling the talks, “both useful and constructive.”
“Theresa’s been to Ibiza before, you see, so she was telling Jeremy all the places we should hit up while we’re there. She mentioned to avoid the fishbowl cocktails but I’m sure the lads can handle it,” said the spokesman. Asked if the PM and leader of the opposition had discussed Brexit, he said, “… nah I don’t think so? Maybe they did. Everyone’s a bit sick of it now though, you know?”
If the vote goes ahead as now planned in early June it will be within a week of both the European Parliament elections and USA President Trump’s UK state visit.
When reminded of this, the spokesman said, “Yeah so we can get all that rubbish out of the way, then it’s party time!”