Thousands of people marched in Cardiff yesterday, calling for Welsh independence. It was the first such march in Welsh history, according to organisers.
However there was an unfortunate miscommunication involving the Welsh words for ‘wife’ (gwraig) and ‘dragon’ (draig). A protester mentioned that people, “should involve the whole family – don’t leave the wife at home, “which others then took to mean they should include their dragons in the protest. One bystander said, “My Welsh isn’t great; either they’re talking about the state of their marriages or they want dragons to fight at the border. Must be the former, right?”
As even 70% of Welsh people could not fully understand, the protesters released the native red dragons along the Wales-England border. The dragons have been kept in pits full of mead for a few hundred years as relations between the two countries warmed and tensions were at an all-time low. However, “the dragons were only too happy to be up and out of their mead pits and doing what they do best – keeping the English away from us!” said one marcher after the mythical creatures were set free.
Welsh support for self-government is at 12%, according to a poll by ITV Wales, with many unhappy with austerity and continuing Brexit negotiations. Adam Price, leader of the nationalist party Plaid Cymru
said, “I support what has happened here. What we really need is to go back to basics and have our red dragons fight the English white ones. Any reasonable person would agree with me – it’s a dragon fight, or nothing.” The English white dragons are of course currently deployed at the border with Scotland, in a demonstration of might aimed at Nicola Sturgeon. They could be recalled and sent towards Wales, as Sturgeon’s last comment on the threat was, “You call those mythical creatures? Our unicorns could have them for breakfast!”
Adam Price said, “For many years, our desire to see an independent Wales has seemed distant. But, the tide is turning, the marches are growing…the voices are louder
and the dragons are ready to fight! So come on England, show us what you’ve got!”
The march ended with a rendition of the Welsh national anthem Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau
which roughly translates as, “Our Dragons are Better than Yours”. Protesters then congregated in their local pubs with the general agreement that what the UK really needs is less talk, more legendary animal battles.