Millions sign petition to have Mark Francois fired into Big Ben on Brexit Day

Popular Right Now, UK Politics
UK Govt has fucked right up with honours list data breach

A petition asking for Conservative MP Mark Francois to be catapulted into Big Ben at 11PM on 31st January has gained over 2 million signatures, it has emerged.

Organisers have confirmed that the petition website has crashed several times due to the volume of people trying to sign up.

The news comes after the MP for Rayleigh and Wickford demanded that the iconic bell should sound in celebration of Britain leaving the EU at the end of the month.

‘To be honest I just started the petition as a bit of a joke’ says organiser Fenton Barnes.

‘But it seems I might have underestimated the public’s desire for seeing an overweight xenophobic Penfold look-a-like being fired at terrifying speed into one of the country’s most famous landmarks’.

‘Our plan is to launch François from a giant trebuchet on College Green straight through the clock face so that his head strikes the Great Bell bang on eleven. Unless we get the calibration wrong and he overshoots and lands on the other side, which would be a terrible shame’.

‘As soon as we get 3 million signatures, which should be any minute now, we’re off to Downing Street to demand that it happens. After all, you can’t deny the will of the people’.

The famous tower is currently undergoing a programme of renovation with work due to be completed in 2021.

However, project leader Clive Samuel is confident that any potential damage to the clock face will be minimal.

‘My initial thought was that any damage to Big Ben could set our programme of works back several months’ says Samuel.

‘But then I visualised Francois screaming through the air towards the tower in his little Union Jack crash helmet and thought ‘Fuck it, let’s do this!’


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.