Milkshake industry sees surge in profits thanks to European elections.

Business, Popular Right Now, UK Politics
Milkshake industry sees surge in profits thanks to European elections

As concerns about the adverse effect on UK business of the ongoing Brexit uncertainties continue,

The Association of Milkshake Producers (TAMP) said the European election campaign has seen profits soar. A spokesman for TAMP said, ‘UKIP may have left a sour taste in many mouths, but for us it’s just the sweet taste of success.’

In recent weeks both Tommy Robinson and Carl Benjamin have been hot by milkshakes thrown by protestors.

The TAMP spokesman said, ‘We don’t condone the use of violence to get across a political viewpoint. But throwing milkshake is hardly violence in comparison to Tommy Robinson’s past. And if the protestors want to turn their attentions to Nigel Farage, we’ve got an artificially sweetened flavour to match every lie he tells.’

The rise of veganism and nut milk has hit the milkshake business hard over the past decade, and industry bosses have made numerous attempts to follow the egg industry which they say, ‘can always fall back on their product as a protest weapon during tough times.’ But TAMP say they’ve struggled as the British public are ‘indifferent to incompetence’.
‘We tried targeting Chris Grayling, Jacob Rees-Mogg, Sajid Javid, but all to no avail. Even our ‘pelt the PM’ campaign failed to raise any interest.

But with UKIP candidate Carl Benjamin having a fourth milkshake thrown at him in a week,

TAMP believe they’ve now nailed it.

Benjamin was on tour in Salisbury when the milkshake was thrown at him.

One local resident told us, ‘We didn’t think we’d ever see anything more toxic than Novichok. But then Carl Benjamin turned up. I just wish the nerve agent could have been nullified by a milkshake.’

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