Michael Gove offers to bring his very own bongs to Brexit celebration party

UK Politics
Michael Gove deeply regrets taking cocaine after Boris punched him in face and took it back

Michael Gove has rejected claims it would cost the taxpayer £500,000 to have bongs for Brexit and instead he’s kindly offered to provide them all by himself.

A number of MPs had asked for the bongs of Big Ben to ring out across Westminster at 11pm on January 31 when Britain leaves Europe.

However it’s reported the House of Commons Commission ruled against the request on grounds of expense and logistics. It is estimated if the attraction went ahead it would cost around half a million pounds.

But in response, Mr Gove said he couldn’t understand how such an astronomical figure was arrived at.

“I’ve been using bongs since I was a young man and I’ve never had to fork out that kind of dosh,” he said.

“I realise we’re talking about specialised equipment here. But come on, five-hundred thou? No way dude. It shouldn’t cost anywhere near that, even if Chris Grayling was buying everything.”

Mr Gove said he would bring his personal bongs along to Westminster on the evening of Brexit as part of the public celebrations and anyone who wanted to join in with him was very welcome.

“I imagine it’s going to be a night of unbridled joy and happiness when the nation excitedly comes together to look forward to our bright future away from the terrible restraints of the European Union,” he predicted .

“What better way could there be for a party to go with a real swing than some good old bongs. I’m sure that’s what we all want and no-one will raise the slightest objection.”

A Whitehall official said: “It seems highly likely that in this case Mr Gove has unfortunately misunderstood what is meant by the term ‘bong’.

“We’ll be having a quiet explanatory word with him before the evening of January 31 to ensure he’s not the subject of any embarrassing front page newspaper stories on the morning of February 1.”

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