Michael Gove has said he will enter the race for Tory leader, challenging his former Vote Leave ally Boris Johnson.
“But I won’t let it stop there.”, declared Michael Gove “I understand the Liberal Democrats are also looking for a new leader and this is an amazing opportunity, for a power hungry, flexible politician such as Michael Gove”, Michael Gove unsurprisingly added.
To stand for Lib Dem leader, the candidate must be an MP, have the backing of 10% of the Parliamentary Party and be supported by 200 members, across 20 different local parties”
“Damn and blast it!”, fumed current leader Vince Cable, sporting a rather fetching Panama hat (well it is weekend), “We actually forgot to insist in the rules that the candidate should be a Lib Dem MP. Wait till get my hands on Nick Clegg. Remember him? No, not many people do”
The Liberal Democrats have begun the process of choosing their next leader, after Sir Vince Cable, announced in March that he would step down after the local elections.
“This is my chance to bring real unity to the House of Commons”, Michael Gove went onto say, “In becoming leader of at least two political parties, I’m sure we can finally deliver exactly the same Brexit deal, that the wonderful, Sainted Theresa May couldn’t. Think of the savings to both parties. Buy one, get one free”, he chuckled
The DUP currently have 10 MPs and controversially went into an agreement with the Conservative Party in 2017
“Next up will be the DUP and then I’ll mop up the SNP.”, cackled an increasingly maniacal Michael Gove, ” Prime Minister’s questions could be awkward, but I already have a plan involving some trusted allies in each party, wearing Michael Gove Celebrity Cardboard masks, whilst I perfect my ventriloquism. ‘Gottle of Gear’ ”
Current leader of the DUP is Arlene Foster
“Michael Gove is a two-faced, arrogant, unpredictable statesman. Incapable of holding a position and supporting those in power”, claimed DUP leader Arlene Foster, “I can’t think of anyone better to lead us”
Jeremy Corbyn has been leader of the labour Party since 2015
“Fortunately, (for me) the method of electing the leader of the Labour Party, doesn’t actually require the support of any incumbent members of the Parliamentary Party”, stated Mr Corbyn, at recent event for under privileged bee-keepers and honey makers of North London, “And since I’ve become leader we’ve also introduced the ability to grow courgettes and runner beans as a criteria”.