Michael Gove arrested for impersonating Boris Johnson’s partner

UK Politics
Michael Gove very much looking forward to no role whatsoever in Boris' Cabinet

Police were called to the London home of Boris Johnson and his partner in the early hours of Friday after neighbours reportedly heard a loud argument. The Guardian said Carrie Symonds was heard telling the Conservative MP to “get off me” and “get out of my flat”.

Police have now confirmed that the screaming woman was in fact a man in disguise and, on removing the Carrie Symonds latex mask, were shocked to discover that… Zoinks! It was a member of the caretaker government all along; Michael Gove!

Ms Symonds was allegedly heard to have said, “You just don’t care for anything because you’re spoilt. You have no care for money or anything.”

Which does sound like the sort of thing Michael Gove would say.

It said that in the recording Mr Johnson was refusing to leave the flat and told the ‘woman’ to “get off” his laptop, before there was an unusual loud crashing noise. 

As opposed to the usual crashing noises one hears when Boris Johnson is around.

Conservative MP Dominic Grieve told BBC Radio 4’s Today programme he could not comment on the Guardian’s report specifically but said character was very relevant in the contest to be leader of the party.

And no one, out of all the Conservative MPs, is more characteristic of your average, xenophobic, misogynistic, deceitful Conservative member than Boris Johnson.

Mark Field has been suspended as a Foreign Office minister after grabbing a female Greenpeace activist at a black-tie City dinner by the neck.

Mark Field has explained his behaviour is part of a character building exercise to make him become the front-runner in the next Conservative Party Leadership contest, currently scheduled to take place this November.

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