Michael Buerk suggests NHS save money by killing anyone over 15 stone.

Health, Lifestyle and Family
Michael Buerk suggests NHS sav money by killing anyone over 15 stone

Michael Buerk has claimed the obese should be allowed to die an early death in order to save the NHS money.

‘The NHS is at breaking point, we need drastic action,’ snapped Buerk. When asked why a fifteen stone cut-off point, he added. ‘It just feels like the right number.’ Buerk seemed surprised when I informed him that at least a dozen of his ‘younger’ BBC colleagues were close, or just over his cut-off mark.

 The 73-year-old broadcaster said people should be free to overindulge and, if they die, they should be seen as weak rather than medically ill.

Buerk continued, ‘Look, I’m fourteen stone, if I have a heavy Christmas, I might sneak up to fourteen and a half but there is no way I’m hitting the fifteen stone mark.’ When asked what his wife weighed, he refused to comment.

 ‘The Obese will die a decade earlier than the rest of us,’ he wrote in the Radio Times. ‘See it as a selfless sacrifice in the fight against demographic imbalance, overpopulation and climate change.

When questioned about larger framed people, twenty-four-carat Buerk responded. ‘From a genetic standpoint, if you are taller and have a bigger frame, you might think twice before you have kids. On the question of actually how to kill patients, he said, ‘It’s not something I’ve really thought about but if push comes to shove – and I am not advocating pushing people out of helicopters, I would go for a more humane approach. A large ward full of obese patients, wait until everyone’s asleep and perhaps gas them with cyanide?

Next week we discuss Buerk’s favourite film – ‘The Wild Geese’

5 Foolproof Ways - Advert v2 (1920 x 1280)

White Label Comedy

The News Dump is brought to you by White Label Comedy – a hive-mind of Comedy Writers and Advertising Creatives who collaborate on-demand to generate Comedy Content for Brands, TV Shows and more.

If we’ve made you laugh, and you know someone who might enjoy working with us, we’d love it if you could send them to www.whitelabelcomedy.com

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.