Met Office predicts ‘last weekend of sun’ followed by ‘low employee turnout on Monday’

Science and Tech
Met Office predicts 'last weekend of sun' followed by 'low employee turnout on Monday'

The summer weather is expected to continue into the weekend, with temperatures set to hit 26C (78.8F) in places on Saturday, say the Met Office.

A spokesman said, ‘We’re expecting weekend temperatures to be between 8-10 degrees above average for the time of year over the weekend so we’re advising people to make sure they get absolutely plastered and chow down on half-cooked sausages, as it may be the last chance they get this year.’

Autumn officially begins in Monday.

A statement from the Met Office said, ‘It’s all downhill from there with just leaf-delayed trains, frozen windscreens and Brexit to look forward to. The forecast brightens up after November with Christmas on the horizon, but celebrations are likely to be overcast by a shit Secret Santa present and 2 days with the in-laws before January brings a credit card bill full of regret and too many noughts.’

The weather is expected to break overnight on Sunday with thunder storms on Monday morning.

Forecasters said not to worry too much about that as they expect, ‘two thirds of the country to be off work on Monday anyway, with the most common reasons being – you’re hanging out of your arse because you had too much to drink, your arse is hanging out of you because you thought chicken could be barbecued in three minutes, or you got no sleep because your neighbours are arseholes who were still hanging out of their windows singing I Will Survive at 4 o’clock in the morning.

Next week is looking much more unsettled.

  •   
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.