Conjoined twin girls who were joined at the head have been separated in ground-breaking surgery at Great Ormond Street Hospital.
Medical Science will now perform miraculous new surgery to conjoin President Donald Trump and PM-elect Boris Johnson to see if a single entity makes any more sense than the nonsensical constituent parts.
Girls Safa and Marwa were born joined at the skull so have never been able to see each other’s faces.
Donald and Boris, however, have never been able to see anyone’s faces but their own in the mirror, congratulating themselves on their respective rises to power as stupidity becomes teh new norm.
To separate the twins required multiple surgeries, months of hard work and the expertise of hundreds of hospital workers.
Now, the ground-breaking techniques used on the girls will be reversed to create the leaders’ un-conjoining process.
A surgeon, Ann Sturgeon, said, “It’s obviously clear if you listen to Boris that there is something missing. We’re going to test if President Trump is the missing piece. Rather than the missing link.”
“Neither of them make any sense at all, if you hear what they’re saying. A massive hole in the brain and personality, which at least explains the racism.
“Hopefully the nonsense both of them spout will be fixed by this operation. It’s not as if it could get any worse, is it? The worst that could happen is that Trump replaces all his ‘really, really, really, really’s with Latin gobbledegook.”
Mr Trump is expected to complain loudly about being conjoined with a foreigner and demand he leave, resulting in the two of them perpetually floating exactly halfway between America and the UK; the perfect result for both countries.