May restricted Boris’ access to intelligence. “See! Not my fault I’m a blundering fool!” says an opportunistic Johnson.

UK Politics
Boris Johnson confirms leadership bid. Tory Incompetence to be replaced by Tory Buffoonery

Downing Street attempted to withhold intelligence in MI6 from Boris Johnson when he became foreign secretary, the BBC has learned.

Boris has pointed out that this explains why he’s so stupid and once he has access to intelligence he’ll be super brainy and able to sort out Brexit. “See how well I’ve done in life without intelligence,” said Boris, “Just imagine how utterly fantastic I’ll be with it!”

Sources close to Mr Johnson said he had access to everything he needed to see.

So nothing, then.

One source says they took legal advice as to whether they could sustain a position in which the foreign secretary was responsible for operations for which he was not shown the intelligence “product”.

A deal was struck with Boris where it was agreed he would not have access to sensitive intelligence in return for being allowed to drive MI6’s specially customised Aston Martin at weekends. A privileged later revoked after he used the ejector seat to dump one of his girlfriends. 

“I was delighted to welcome the foreign secretary to our Vauxhall Cross headquarters so he could see first-hand the kind of work that MI6 does,” the chief, known as “C”, said at the time Boris was Foreign Secretary.

Co-incidentally, both current Tory leadership candidates are also often referred to as “C” by the intelligence agencies. A source told us that, in both cases, it does not stand for Chief and what it does stand for is classified.

When asked whether May had trusted Johnson at the time, the prime minister’s spokesperson said, “It was the PM’s decision to appoint Boris Johnson as Foreign Secretary with full knowledge of all the responsibilities that that involves and he did a good job as foreign secretary in his time in the post.”

The good job being referred to resulted in a Foreign Office toilet being out of action for couple of days.

  •   
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  
  •  

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.