Theresa May today vowed to stand and fight if Tory rebels force a vote of no confidence – reminding would-be usurpers that she only needs to win by one point to stay in power.
And what better way to strengthen our position in the Brexit negotiations than to reassure Europe that May is clinging onto power by an even narrower margin than ever before.
You can probably tell we don’t have any jokes here just yet – but I still really wanted to put up this picture of May wrestling Gavin Williams.
Elsewhere in parliament, a man they’re calling ‘The Mexican Jeremy Corbyn’ has been elected the country’s next president.
The nickname isn’t anything to do with his reforming socialist values – he just has history with Diane Abbott, and absolutely loves man-hole covers.