Mankini-clad tourists wreaking havoc hired by Farage to ensure EU forces Brexit whatever happens in Parliament.

UK Politics, World News
Mankini-clad tourists wreaking havoc hired by Farage to ensure EU forces Brexit whatever happens in Parliament

Police in Poland are on the hunt for 4 English speaking tourists wearing mankinis, who are accused of partaking in “indecent antics”.

It’s been confirmed that the men were sent by Nigel Farage, in an attempt to get Britain thrown out of the EU as soon as possible.

Farage has been vocal in his concern of a Brexit Betrayal, following Parliament’s decision to rule out a No Deal.

In a statement earlier today, he confirmed that these men were sent to strike fear into Europe.

“They’re like the Inglorious Bastards, except they’re not fighting against the Nazis!” he explained. “The European Union should be on notice. We invaded Poland in 1939 and we’ll do it again!”

“We will not stand by as Brexit dies. We will fight back against our oppressors as all Brits do aboard. We’ll fight them in mankinis! We’ll fight them in morph-suits! We shall never surrender our sovereignty, our freedom, or our big inflatable penises!”

Spokesperson Sebastien Glen has confirmed that Krakow police are looking to question the four men, following allegations of loutish behaviour.

Eye witness reports claimed the men were drinking in the street, goading locals with renditions of  “Rule, Britannia” “Football’s coming home” and “Deutschland Uber Alles”.

If caught, the tourists are likely to be hauled in front of a Polish courtroom and face several charges.

Possible sentences include 30 days in jail, a £1000 fine and a senior position in Farage’s Brexit Party.    

In Brussels, MEP Farage has called on the EU to reject any request to extend Article 50 beyond 12th April.

He also confirmed that, should Britain be forced to fight European elections, he will put the Mankini Four forward as candidates.

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