Manchester United finally announce new permanent manager. Dr Who’s Jodie Whittaker.

Jodie takes on Man U

It’s the top job everyone’s talking about – since Jose Mourinho’s shock departure last month, speculation has been rife as to who will become the new boss at Manchester United.

And the fans now have their answer. It’s Dr Who herself, Jodie Whittaker.

There’s going to be plenty of pressure on the shoulders of the new manager – with high expectations from both shareholders and fans.

But if anyone knows how to win round a fanbase who’s inexplicably furious at the idea of a woman being hired for a job that a man once did, its Jodie.

“Jodie took a lot of flack from the Who fans and still did a great job” explains United’s chairman Steven Moffatt, “and ok, so she only lasted one season, but Mourinho barely lasted two”.

After Mourinho’s brief tenure, United are looking for a manager who can really deliver.

And Jodie’s last job has prepared her perfectly: “If United need a goal in the final stages of a game, I’ll just pop into the Tardis, head back to half time, and sneak an extra 5 minutes onto the referee’s watch”.

“It’ll be even more effective than Fergie Time.”

Garth ApThomas

Written By: Garth ApThomas

Garth’s writing credits include “the world’s longest running live comedy show” NewsRevue in London – where he’s been a writer in the room – BBC Radio 4 Extra’s Newsjack and the History Makers podcast.
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