With the summer transfer window now open and after a disappointing season finishing sixth in the Premier League, Manchester United are committing their vast resources to rebuilding the team for future success, both off and on the field.
Key to the strategy is the signing of talented Palace youth supremo: Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor.
The Red Devils have been tracking the Buckingham Palace youngster since the middle of May and are currently negotiating feeding and changing arrangements with the player’s team of backroom nannies.
United boss Ole Gunnar Solskjaer is committed to bringing the English youngster to Old Trafford this summer.
“As soon as we saw the cute photo of his feet we knew he had talent. We have inside information he’s a born dribbler.” admitted the Old Trafford gaffer.
When speaking to MUTV on potential transfer targets, United boss Solskjaer said he wouldn’t necessarily be looking for ‘ready-made’ stars, and wants to bring in players to excite the fans, and more importantly, excites the shareholders.
“The original plan was to farm David Beckham our to stud, but that hasn’t really worked out.” added Ole.
“Archie Mountbatten-Windsor is a good example of United looking to the future by signing talented youngsters that could make the difference on the pitch in the 2032/33 season, and a difference on the balance sheet in the 2019/20 season.
The Red Devils’ boss continued: “If we charge by the letter for his name on replica shirts, starting at the bottom of the left sleeve, going across the shoulders and down the right sleeve, we’ll make a fortune.”