The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are to step back from Royal duties with almost immediate effect
In reaction, the weekend children’s publication, ‘The Mail on Sunday’ has immediately thrown in £500,000 to the restoration program of Big Ben in order that its readers can celebrate Megxit in style, with a full round of the Westminster Chimes to coincide with the moment The Duke of Sussex’s plane touching down in Canada.
The terms of their split from royal life were set out in another unprecedented statement from Buckingham Palace on Saturday
“Normally loyal Royalist ‘Mail on Sunday’ readers were utterly devasted that the announcement wasn’t accompanied by a state parade”, a disgusted, ‘Mail on Sunday’, Royal Sleaze Editor, Lady Fenella Straight-Shootingparty (54) stated, “The very least Her Majesty could have done is get the Kings Troop out for a 42 gun salute to mark this incredible occasion.”
The Mail on Sunday is currently being sued by the Duchess of Sussex
“We want our readers to celebrate in style”, Editor Ted Verity declared, “So next Sunday’s issue will have a full 48-page ‘Megxit Means Megxit’ colour supplement, a £14.99 offer for a DVD of the couple’s highlights and the first of a series of tokens enabling our readers to obtain a selection of Royal celebrity cardboard masks to re-enact their favourite reported Royal fictional feud”
The Queen and Prince Charles were said to be saddened that Harry, Meghan and eight-month-old Archie will live in Canada.
“Fair play to them”, a delighted amateur Republican and professional full-time drinker, Colin Collinson (54) of Barton Stacey shouted from his local, The Bosun and Strange, Hampshire’s only Quantum Physics themed pub, “There are those of us who have been trying to get rid of the Royal Family for years and The Queen goes and gets rid of two of them at once. Talk about BOGOF. The bells must ring for Megxit.”