Madonna bemused 180 million viewers all over Europe (and Australia) by wearing an eye patch whilst appearing at the Eurovision Song Contest in Tel Aviv
However, not all is “peace and light” in the Madonna camp, as shortly afterwards, the eye patch announced it is about to launch a solo career and split up from Madonna, claiming ‘Artistic Differences’ as the cause.
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“I was promised much more involvement on the album”, the eye patch went onto say, “A duet was mooted at one point and several of my poems were being considered for lyrics. I now know that was all bluff and I was just wanted for my physically appearance. I feel so violated”
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“I would have much preferred a more hard hitting cause”, the eye patch reasoned, “but my suggestion about bringing more awareness to cataract surgery after care, was met with a stony silence”
Many viewers suggested Madonna was struggling to sing in tune
“Do you have any idea how embarrassing it was to be up there?”, stated an emotional eye patch, “I gave up a prime role in ‘The Game of Thrones’ to be involved with project. Thank goodness, someone finally switched on the autotune”.
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“That eye patch has been a complete diva since day one”, responded Queen of Pop, Madonna, “First it wanted its own dressing room, then a separate private jet. Completely ridiculous. Do you know how eye patches wanted this gig? I turned down the entire cast of “Pirates of the Caribbean’ you know “, Madonna protested