Following news that food, medicine and housing will soon be in short supply – possibly within a matter of weeks – London Zoo have announced that they have secured a grant to keep a family of four ‘healthy for years’ in a new enclosure in the attraction.
Fears are that, post-Brexit, ‘ordinary people’ will struggle to access the simplest of necessary drugs, including insulin and antibiotics, leading to major health issues.
However, zoo manager Justin Coates has confirmed that the Richardson family, selected for their hardy Yorkshire genes and who will be displayed in a glass fronted bungalow, will have no such issues.
“The Richardsons will be kept free from disease in the same way that they other animals are. The most suitable medical treatment will be available to treat any ailments they may have. Young Jonathon had a bit of a cough yesterday, so we are monitoring him, but other than that, they seem like healthy specimens.”
As food and clothing shortages hit the rest of the UK, the exhibit will be maintained to the very highest standard
“Our family will be looked after in line with our current processes, including being assigned their own keeper. They’ll be fed by Marks and Spencer’s and have their clothing provided by Next. We intend to keep them exactly as they are, so that any future UK resident, no matter how feral they may have become themselves, can see how life might have been.”
“We are also aware that, should there be any epidemic that destroys much of the UK population, we can begin a conservation project to begin to release youngsters back into the wild. Both Mr and Mrs Richardson are very fertile.”
“We are that,” said a very smug looking Mr Richardson, “we are that.”