Liverpool through to Champion’s Leauge final thanks to blood magic and Robot legs

Sport
Liverpool through to Champion's Leauge final thanks to blood magic and Robot legs

Liverpool’s dramatic 4-0 win over Barcelona at Anfield is one of football’s great comebacks.

The News Dump has gathered a dozen of the finest analytical minds who just now learned they’d have to cover sports to break down the how and the why of it all.

This Club has a history of famous comebacks on the European stage, most notably in 2005, when Liverpool overcame AC Milan’s 3-0 half-time lead to win the Champions League Final.

On all those occasions a falling star was witnessed, alongside reports of fish and frogs raining over drought-stricken lands, suggesting a fundamental change in the air.

“Liverpool will get through to the finals!” was found scrawled on the walls of local asylums, and written in the blood of lost Saints on the walls of desanctified cathedrals.

Divock Origi scored the first and also the winning goal to put Liverpool through to the final.

“I couldn’t have done it without my robotic legs,” Origi said in a post-match interview. “I just this victory continues to remind people of the importance of millionaires playing a child’s game.”

They went through 4-3 overall, putting behind them the heavy defeat they suffered at the Nou Camp last week.

“You learn something from every defeat.” said
Georginio Wijnaldum, who scored two goals with the aid of the guidance system built into his skull. “We learnt who on the side was weak, and needed to be sacrificed to Rhan-Tegoth.”

Liverpool will play whoever comes out on top in Wednesday night’s semi-final between Ajax and Tottenham.

This being a ‘Quarter Quell’ it is likely The Capital will throw an unexpected wrinkle into proceedings.

“I’m confident we’ve got everything we need,” says Wijnaldum, gesturing towards the team of Nazi scientists frantically working on Formula X. “As long as the fans keep believing in us… Because seriously if they stop cheering, we all die. We’re like Tinkerbell. Please keep watching football!”

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