What seems like an awfully long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away from anybody else’s reality, the Imperial Tories elected Daft Boris as their leader.
Swept to power on a promise of delivering Brexit by October 31st, Daft Boris soon proved to be a complete failure and it became obvious that he wasn’t a Jedi and had lied when he said he could use the force to make his Brexit fully operational.
He was, in fact, so incompetent that he couldn’t force anything through, and banished 21 of his own stormtroopers to the wastelands of Tattooine after discovering they hadn’t been programmed incorrectly and had developed opinions which differed from his.
But after Obi Wan Corbyn granted Daft Boris the election he so craved, the Sith lord found it in his heart to beg some of his stormtroopers to re-join the Imperial Forces. Although he still refused to do a deal with Nigel the Hutt, a slimy slug like creature who shares Daft Boris’ evil intentions but has his own agenda – to get his ugly mug on the TV as often as possible.
Nigel the Hutt, who had cobbled together 600 of the biggest hand solos known to man, had hoped to form an axis of evil with Daft Boris, despite telling his own droids ‘This is not the Brexit you voted for’.
Even after turning down Nigel the Hutt, Daft Boris is still confident his Brexit will be fully operational by the end of January. But a Rebel Alliance has formed and vowed to destroy it using X-Wing fighters, laser guns and parliamentary process.
The Liberal Democrats, Plaid Cymru and the Green Party have formed an electoral pact, agreeing not to stand against each other in dozens of seats.
Launching the Rebel Alliance, spokeperson Jo Swinson said, ‘Stop Brexit, we must’ and described the alliance as ‘our only hope’ of revoking Article 50.